Monday, October 8, 2012

One night stands

You've discovered that you've got 'mojo' and out of the corner of your eye, you catch good looking strangers taking a second look at you. You are well above the legal age of consent, so you can take advantage of your new freedom.  One night stands are part of our culture and anyway, YOLO.

'One night stands' are acceptable in many quarters of our side of the world. I can't tell people who don't subscribe to the Christian faith how to live their lives but I can invite them - and invite you - to consider a few factors about the whole thing. I don't like or advocate 'one night stands'.

 I'm aware that to there are people who for recreation like getting  themselves hooked up after a night at the club with someone sweet/hot/cool/handsome/pretty for the night. Maybe it's the highlight of the week and something to talk about with your buddies from Sunday to Friday. I'm aware that on the whole 'no one is getting hurt' and that it is by 'mutual consent' or that it beats the mundane lows and loneliness of life for a short time.

My main problem is that a one night stand is really an exercise in mutual selfishness.

Don't believe me? Let's test it. (I'll say 'you' but these are general)

  • Did you have to get intoxicated/stoned to spend time with this person? If so why? Would you have gone home with them if you had met them somewhere else? If not, then what was your goal that night? Be honest it about them...or you?
  • Are you willing to look after and/or care for this person if they suddenly came down with the flu, or had a car accident? If not why not? 
  • Do you know and agree with this person's intellectual and spiritual beliefs? If you don't know - then have you thought about the effect this sort of intimacy has on your own spirit/intellect?
  • Do you know if this person is 'safe'? Do you know their background? Do you actually really - know - who you are being intimate with?
I could go on...not to mention the wonderful diseases that you can pick up...that pregnancy does contraception is 100% sure...but maybe I'll stop there!

My personal view is to get to know a person intellectually and spiritually first and learn how to care and support each other along the way.  It's  a big topic but I want to encourage you to think about it.

If you are a Christian and 'do' one night stands, then you may have to find chapters or passages in the Bible to support your actions -  because I don't see any in my own Bible.

Instead there are many passages about looking after other people and not being selfish.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 – “It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable” 

1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

1 Corinthians 6:13 – “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” 

Genesis 1: 27-28 – “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number;” 

Genesis 2:24 – “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” 

1 Corinthians 7:2-3 – “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”


"God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we've done wrong." 1 John 1:9

"For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." (1 Peter 3:18a)

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." (Ephesians 1:7)

Also see John 8:1-11

How do we live our life?

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

If you want other Christians ideas, I'd probably go along with a lot or most of what this author says too:

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